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The Me in You August 12, 2011

Filed under: Experiences — The Inner Search @ 12:05 am

Have you ever heard of the statement “People are reflection of who you are“?  In other words you always see people the way you are towards them.  It’s quite an interesting topic because at first it’s hard to believe that someone is way he/she seems because of my own thinking.  Secondly, in my own eyes I am a fair dealing and good person. But not necessarily, everyone I come across is good. Not everyone I come across is patient and humble, so how can be those people reflection of me?  And then bigger question I have is “If we all are part of one soul (As per Sikh teachings) and God resides in everyone and everything than why is it hard to see everyone as ‘One’?” Why can’t I see myself in someone else too? These are some questions that I still don’t have answers to but I guess this blog I wanted to share a realization of mine.
Before I share what I experienced/realized I want to build up the case for it. So, I have a tendency to judge people, especially when I come across people who are too nice. It’s like when I see someone too nice, my radar goes up and tells me “there is something fishy, what does he/she want?” especially if this person is someone I hardly know. Like everything else I know this pattern of thinking and belief didn’t just come over night, it had to have deeper roots and the roots probably lead back to childhood. I grew up in a very insecure society and during the times when you had to mind your own business or else you were calling trouble to your home. You were taught that you have to be careful about who you associate and what you do because apparently people around you were there to take advantage of you. So basically, you had to build a shell around you and be watchful for everyone. You were told “Never trust anyone, else you may get hurt”. Whether it was right or wrong, it was the mentality for survival and existence.  And as I grew older this just became as something that I didn’t even have to think about, just stay watchful and in process be insecure.

It was just like another day and I guess I had judged or found someone not real because somehow I wasn’t able to accept that someone can be as nice.  And for some reasons my mind was fighting this battle if the person was really what he projected. And out of nowhere in the middle of a shower this thought dawned upon me that it’s not that the people are not real or nice,
they probably are nice in reality – it’s ME who has a challenge accepting because somewhere I am not nice or as giving and as loving as them and/or my deep rooted belief of beware of nice people. This realization made me look deeper and find why it is so hard to give be it love, a hug, a warm smile that too from deep within. I mean I can fake a smile or say some nice things even when I don’t really mean, to impress or to make other person feel good but not always what I say is sincere and from somewhere within me. It takes time for me to open up that way and be giving to someone who I just met or to someone who I barely know. And I ask myself,  “If WE all are children of same FATHER, our almighty God – then why so hard to Give and share?”. One can say that my behavior is the result of upbringing and the society I grew up in, the beliefs and situation made me put a wall around me to be watchful for people around me and hence my outlook and tendency to judge nice people.

Anyways without going deeper into the topic, now I know that when I see a lacking or when I judge someone – it’s not about that person. It’s something that lacks in me, my beliefs and my projections.  If my projection is of Love, I will see Love in everyone and if my faith is strong in Guru then I will only see perfection and beauty. And as I write this I just hope Waheguru blesses me to see Him in people around me.

As I finish this blog I am reminded of Shabad: